And?!?: when you doubt yourself

Qotes I Like

"With the new day comes new strength and new thoughts." - Elanor Roosevelt

"Success isn't about how your lfe looks to others. It's about how it feels to you." - Michelle Obama

"The best way out is always through." - Robert Frost

"Talk to yourself like you would to someone you love." - Brene Brown

"You get in life what you have the courage to ask for." - Oprah Winfrey

"When you talk you are only repeating what you already know. But if you listen, you may learn something new." - Dalai Lama

"Time is a created thing. To say "I don't have time." is like saying "I don't want to." - Leo Tzu

About me!

My Afrikaans teacher, who was Miss Liebenberg when I was at St. John's College, in the late 90's (1994-end of 1996) and other people I know, have in the past, asked me why I don't have my full story on my blog, as my story is one that would help inspire others facing a similar situation.

So here we go folks- In December 1996 I started getting blinding headaches and became very photo phobic, my pupils were hugely dilated. I never really got headaches before then. We were on holiday at the Sugar Beach Hotel, in Mauritius, when my life changed forever. On our return my situation just kept getting worse and I went temporarily blind from the pressure behind my eyes my tumour caused. Christmas 1996 was absolutely nightmarish for me. I did not know what was going on with my body - I thought I was facing my last days here on earth.

On 15 January 1997 (I can never forget this date), the day school started for that year, I was in Hospital having Brain Surgery to try and remove my tumour. Thank God it was too firmly routed to my brain stem for this to be done. According to my Neuro Surgeon (who will remain Anon.) he tried everything to remove it but it was not possible - I haemoraged and he panicked. Had they been able to get it out my left side would have become my right side in my minds thinking. I distinctively remember waking up from surgery in the operating theatre and puking into my oxygen mask. I lost my speech for several months, my ability to walk (to this day I limp as my left leg is not in sync with the right side of my body), I could not use the toilet for months and was in agony as neither end (a bit graphic) but what the worked as my brain was not correctly sending the signal to my netherlands- so I could not get rid of my body's waste. It was a long and crap year 1997 and trying to survive. I was on a tv programme on SABC1 (I believe, you believe?) in June 1997 and a month later, my mom, dad and me went to Australia. OZ (We flew to Perth on SAA) is a nine hour flight from Johannesburg and a twelve (12) hour flight back to Johannesburg? Strong head winds on the return flight. (one of life's odd stats.?) On our return I started getting rapidly worse again. The Oncology doctor gave me a diagnosis of three weeks to live in December 1997 as there was nothing more he could do for me. - I gave my oncology Doctor Martin Chassen a hug - he started crying. Well I guess only God knows how long you will be around?

I turn 38 on 21 November of this year (2018), I have not seen a doctor for years, I do not take any medication, but only vitamins and I am still here! I have tremendous faith in God. I believe all religions are equal, in the way that the basis of all religions is of a higher power, a god, the way you choose to practice your faith is up to you. I am a Catholic Christian and know 100% that I would not have survived what I did without God, Strangers awesome healing prayers (they prayed for me in churches, mosques and Synagogues my family's parish Priest Father Leithem sent a petition to our Lady of Medjugorje in Croatia and used to bring me aloe vera mixed with Grapa that a parishoner used to make for me. A boy (he's 39 now) from St. John's College, Anthony Spanjaard, told me about these vitamins his mom sold. I took them in a large dosage (16) a day at first to boost my immune system. I prayed like mad and voila.

This I have no answer for and for many years I felt guilty - why did I survive my cancer and many other people do not. Go figure?

DAVE